What is Unseen is Eternal

Matt and I went to the church together this morning, and we told the pastor about our three-month break.

This sounded insane. Three month, no meeting, contacting, talking, texting…But we have to do it. To so many degrees this must be done. I stared into his unfathomable, mesmerizing blue eyes, and I said “embrace your new life”, while deep down I knew I am also embracing mine. We stood so close as I felt our souls didn’t want to depart. But I have to make it to the audition on time… I have to leave.

Later on when I got back home, I become so sad. I missed him, and I thought “fuck, why can we just get married?”I wanted to send him a text message, but immediately I knew that’s gonna be a very bad idea.

I may just need to live in my silent void and let my thoughts flow.

Then I came across this scripture –

Therefore we do not lose heart, though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we re being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what’s seen, but on what is not seen, sine what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

This instantly lighted up my world. I shouldn’t be focused on the troubles and problems now, I shouldn’t be sad, because God loves me and he’s calling me to take this break.

I pray to Lord that you will guide me through this three months and show me where I should go, draw me closer to you and show me what I should choose, show me the differences between me and him, give me the light. Lord I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.


No Name

This morning Matt called me and we talked on the phone for 30 minutes.

He told me all the crazy things she is doing – this woman just won’t leave him in peace. How many times I’ve seen people stuck in financial issues and couldn’t pick themselves up. I was so disappointed that he even had a thought of going back to the business. This is such a drama!!! I couldn’t believe everything he used to say was just bullshit!

Ok, instead of letting other people mess up with my life, I decided to follow God.

I decided to listen to what he wants me to do and let him direct me to where I belong.

Thank you Lord for bringing peace to my life…

Here’s a little private time I wanted to talk about J.

I missed him again… And still, my heart hurted.

I remembered how we cuddled together on his comfy bed and watched movies using his projector.I remembered how I fell asleep in his arms just like that. I remembered waking up beside him and caught a glimpse of New York Sunshine coming through his window. I remembered making love with him all day and all night. I remembered him holding my hands and walked me over busy streets on Manhattan…There was so much passion and love between us. And now, nothing will never happen again.

The Plan and How it Works

I was so sick after I had my favourite signature Tim Hortons Lunch – Chicken Salad Sandwich and Ice Capp.

10 minutes after I finished the satisfing combination, I started to feel freezing and headache, sleepy and tired.

I couldn’t believe that I have never noticed all these symptoms for the past few years.

The Plan tells me the story of how people are reacting to certain foods that leads them to weight gain and fatigue. I was more convinced than ever, and can’t wait for the plan to kick in my life.

I’m going to my friend’s birthday party this Friday, which means I can only start this plan on Saturday.

May 23 – 25 would be 3-day cleanse

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I started to believe that by following God, God will reveal his will, direct and guide me to where I am supposed to be.

I started job searching with a much clearer vision – to be an Account Manager of a Top Marketing & Advertising Firm.

To get there, I need to work as an Account Coordinator, and my skills and experience are exactly what I need to become an Account Coordinator.

By following God, I realize that life is simpler. God asks us not to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.

All About Diet

So I’ve tried a couple of days of No Carb No Sugar Diet.
I felt so sick especially when I drink Diet Coke/Cranberry Juice. I could taste the artificial flavor in it.
However, no sugar or carbs make me feel great..

I LOVE salad. I cannot give up on coffee with cream.
I’m not so crazy about meat. I feel the reason I eat them is because I want to make myself full
I miss carbs – especially muffins. I miss nuts – cashew and stuff
I miss smoothies – I would much prefer to start my day with smoothies than bacon and eggs.
I have no problem stop eating fruits – I don’t miss them AT ALL, Maybe I don’t like them that much at the first place? 

A few things I’ve learned from my diet is that 
– I shall never buy nuts or cereal – or I will eat them all
– No Carb or Fruit makes grocery shopping much easier and less tempting 
– When I go exercising, I felt what I should and should not eat more than 1 bowl

Experiencing God Day 1

Our experiences cannot be our guide. Every event in your life must be understood and interpreted by the Scriptures, for the God revealed in Scripture does not change

1. I don’t need to tell him what I did. Because  “(and) when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full” (Matthew 6:5) God will reward me when he sees what is done in secret.

2. Also, God my father knows what I need before I ask him.

3. This is how I should pray –

Our father in heaven,hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, you will be done. on earth as it is in heaven, Given us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

4. Ask the right question. Because when you ask a wrong one,  you will get a wrong answer. The right question is NOT “what is God’s will in my life” but what is God’s will? then I will work my life around his will.