It took me years to realize that I could never be happy, or peaceful or content with what I eat.
If I don’t eat enough, I am deprived and unsatisfied. And if I allow myself to binge, I will be guilty and unhappy about feeling so full. Such a small thing as eating has never stopped bothering me. The number on the scale has haunted me for years and years and costed me so much attention and energy.
Recently I started going to Yoga class, and meditation, and fasting. And these three things together are helping me to watch my mind and truly understand my thinking. I realized that being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a widely successful diet is a colossal failure, while inside the new body is the same sinking heart. Spiritual hunger can never be solved under a physical level.
I think I just have too much time to waste. If I’m busier with other things, I could be less concentrated on food.
A famous zen master once said “There is no right, there’s no wrong, but right is right, and wrong is wrong”
You cannot free yourself from the obsession from food without following the eating guidelines.
Food has a direct effect on our appetite and willingness to inquire. To discern what is true, to the work of returning ourselves to what we love. Food is the direct connection between the spiritual and the physical, between what we put into our mouths and what we feel in our hearts. Passion, strength and joy cannot take place in an exhausted, burdened and half dead body.