Beyond My Understanding

I’m sad.
I’m expecting him to return, but he said no.
I do not understand. This is far beyond my understanding. For all the happy moments we spent together, how could he forgot?
How could he let these go so easily?
He said this is not easy, and he missed me as well. But this is not so persuasive, isn’t it?
I asked to meet him, then got no response.

I’ll never do things I used to do to him.
Like name each email subject. Like having sex in the car. Like laying my head on his muscular arm…

If he really divorced his wife, will I be willing to marry him?
Obviously no, I don’t want his kids, I don’t want his burden. We are both broken, and this is the only way we can be together.
I want to put alcohol in my coffee and let our stories last forever.

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