It’s over now‏

My period came. I was sad but relieved. 
It means it is really over – he didn’t leave anything behind. 
I was just so surprised to see that things happened so fast and ended so soon. 
I couldn’t even tell that it was him who sent me the last email. He talked to me in such a respectable way to show his apology. 
He said his wife has applied enough pressure to let him rethink of his actions, and he decided to devote entirely to his family now. 

My heart is breaking. And I am freezing. 

I’m sad not because I have lost him or the emotion I have devoted to this relationship, but because I relied so completely on him to make me realize that I no longer have feelings for my boyfriend. 
I look at my boyfriend kissing our cat, I see him packing my lunch and snacks every day, I see him doing all the house chores while I’m away. 
I owe him so much, and I know he will be a good husband, a good dad, a good son in law, a good employee, a good boss…. 
But I just d-o-n’-t love him. 
The world looks at us as we are a perfect couple. We are good-looking, we match each other, we have ambitions, dreams and so much more in front of us. 
But deep down inside, I am so painful. 

Marrying a guy who has a background will never work out. His proposal, your wedding, your kids, your house… None of them will be his first time…

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